Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away. Grief is also a reaction to any loss. The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship. Loss can be categorized as either physical or abstract, the physical loss being related to something that the individual can touch or measure, such as losing a spouse through death, while other types of loss are abstract, and relate to aspects of a person’s social interactions.
There has in recent years been a high level of skepticism about the universal and predictable “emotional pathway” that leads from distress to “recovery” with an appreciation that grief is a more complex process of adapting to loss than stage and phase models have previously suggested.
Crying is a normal and natural part of grieving. It has also been found, however, that crying and talking about the loss is not the only healthy response and, if forced or excessive, can be harmful. Responses or actions in the affected person, called "coping ugly" by researcher George Bonanno, may seem counter-intuitive or even appear dysfunctional, e.g., celebratory responses, laughter, or self-serving bias in interpreting events. Lack of crying is also a natural, healthy reaction, potentially protective of the individual, and may also be seen as a sign of resilience. Science has found that some healthy people who are grieving do not spontaneously talk about the loss. Pressing people to cry or retell the experience of a loss can be harmful.
Nomads have not yet resolved their grief and do not seem to understand the loss that has affected their lives. Memorialists: This identity is committed to preserving the memory of the loved one that they have lost. Normalizers: This identity is committed to re-creating a sense of family and community. Activists: This identity focuses on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or with the same issues that caused their loved one's death. Seekers: This identity will adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives.
For help in dealing with your grief, Call Dr. Barbara Denny at 714-832-6454.